Wounds from a friend can be trusted, but an enemy multiplies kisses. Proverbs 27:6
Only in the cushy contemporary western world could a theology develop that regards personal suffering as abnormal. A quick search for “suffering” in the New Testament yields an abundance of scriptures, making it not only clear is it expected, but that it brings blessing.
The myopia begins with our blessed experience of increasing physical comforts and a pill for every ailment. Our theology seems to relish the positive promises of abundant life, so we arrange our church events accordingly and our outreach style reflects the same sentiment. Yet most of us don’t escape suffering for long. Perhaps that’s why its visitation offends us as much as it perplexes.
There is plenty of advice on hand. We apply a variety of scriptures as well as psychological coping mechanisms to manage our responses. We are reminded that God will rescue you, won’t withhold anything good from you and bestow upon you the riches of Jesus’ inheritance. In the meantime, you might practice practical strategies of alleviating the pain. If there is little you can do to avert the pain, it’s time to get onto the intercessory prayer channel and enlist heavenly forces. These are time-tested strategies, but is escaping the pain always the best option? Sometimes you’re just meant to endure suffering like a good soldier of Christ (2nd Timothy 2:3).
Suffering pain is not a rebuke; it’s compliment from God and it’s your task to bear up under it.
When you’re right before God and have done your best to live in peace with others, suffering pain is not a rebuke; it’s compliment from God and it’s your task to bear up under it. But make sure you do a thorough check. Pain is a faithful friend to tell you when something’s wrong. If that’s the case, it is a mistake to avoid it with experiences or substances – although moderate soothing is understandable.
Make it work for you. How did the pain come about? Was it your own mistake, or did someone inflict it upon you? Don’t miss the opportunity to learn the lesson, even if you didn’t mean to contribute the way you did. Yelling or crying are learned avoidant techniques. Seek reconciliation and restoration. Humbly accept your fault.
Suffering is the sure path to character formation, or otherwise known as soul transformation of the soul, which is a core aim of God in your life, as explained in a recent post (See the blog about message of the Gospel). Remember these supportive scriptures: 1) “Endure hardship as discipline… it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it. (Hebrews 12:7,11), and 2)
Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything (James 1:2-4).
Think of it this way: how would we know joy and peace if we knew no suffering? What is love if it didn’t cost us anything? As you become transformed in the image of Jesus, the joy of the Lord will eventually pervade your Spirit-led life. The dominant manifestation of this life will be love. Joy can coexist with suffering. In fact, suffering is the midwife of an entirely new level of joy.
The goal of a transformed character – or soul transformation – is to operate from a heart of love in all circumstances. “We are only as sanctified as we think and behave under pressure or pain when triggered emotionally or suffering physical pain,” says Jim Wilder, Living From the Heart Jesus Gave You (p. 19).
Why do we get triggered as such? Why can’t we just clothe ourselves with Christ, be led in love through the Spirit, and endure persecution as graciously as Jesus?
It is vitally important to give grace and have compassion when we see how differently others, compared to ourselves, respond to life’s challenges.
The answer to this is the key to why so many of us are misjudged. We simply aren’t at the same place on the journey to wholeness. Our broken backgrounds and damaged souls place us at distances apart in maturity. Healing and God’s sovereign intervention plays a huge role in how well along the path we have advanced. It is vitally important to give grace and have compassion when we see how differently others, compared to ourselves, respond to life’s challenges.
When a painful event occurs, mature people can return to a state of calm quickly rather than reacting from a place fear. That’s called suffering well. “But if our hearts remain wounded by emotional trauma in the past, they will be unable to respond in times when specific triggers re-ignite the pain.” Wilder, (p. 20).
If your suffering is not of your making, feel free to find a way of escape. But it takes wisdom to know if it’s legitimate to escape; do not sin in your attempt to escape. There are psychological consequences as well: “Neurosis is always a substitute for legitimate suffering” as Carl Jung famously said. Paul made efforts to avoid prison and beatings – he escaped over the wall, once – but he knew suffering awaited him as he steadfastly journeyed to Jerusalem in final saga of Acts. Don’t get frustrated or shamed if He hasn’t shown you the road out.
Use the triggered pain as an occasion for healing. Stop the yelling and crying, as that type of response spawns ideas that lead to ungodly fruit, such as revenge and punishment and disfellowshipping, including distancing from God. Rather, the scriptural response is “endure it” like Jesus (1 Peter 2:19-21).
This may be the place you stop walking around the mountain and grow in character which is always His kind intention. Inquiring of God is our privilege and “the glory of kings”. Try one simple question: “Jesus, is there anything You want me to know about this situation?” Take your time with this in a quiet place and don’t hurry away. Have a journal with you and keep the dialogue going. Believe He sees, he hears, he cares, and He can do something about it.” Believe.
God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference. Living one day at a time; enjoying one moment at a time; accepting hardships as the pathway to peace; taking, as He did, this sinful world as it is, not as I would have it; trusting that He will make things right if I surrender to His Will; so that I may be reasonably happy in this life and supremely happy with Him forever and ever in the next. Amen.
A prayer written by Reinhold Niebuhr (1892-1971).